Fear – Five Minute Friday

schnauze“Harry! Jack!” I called from the porch. Waiting for a response I really didn’t expect, I checked the soil in which the mint and herbs are growing to determine if they needed water.

“Huh!” I sighed. The schnauze obeyed me no more today than they had yesterday. I went back inside, grabbed a whistle (I’ve never been able to whistle properly) and blew a blast into the back yard. After a couple of minutes, I sighed again: I’ll have to find them, I mused to God. I can’t shower until they’re back inside. Thankful that I was already wearing shoes, I walked down the steps and began checking behind shrubs and garden furniture for the black and grey dogs. As I came round the corner of the deck, a wide open gate greeted me.

“How is that open?” I asked. “No one uses that gate.”

Quickly, I made my way back inside, snatched up my phone and pocketed my keys. I grabbed two leashes and a bag of treats and made my way out the front door. As my feet carried me down the steps, my fingers were searching for my house mate’s number. A thought breezed through my mind, What if she blames you? You let them out. I ignored it, let it continue on its way.

Living in Christian community is changing me. The monolithic ogre of fear has become like the hairy monster, Rudolph, in Looney Tunes, Water, Water Every Hare. It’s tiny. A good stare sends fear scurrying away.

Not so many weeks ago, I’d have been terrified to inform my friend that her dogs were off roaming the neighbourhood without an escort. Today, fear became concern. Fear lost its power to paralyze me. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be paralyzed again. But today, the schnauze are home after their great adventure and what would have been overwhelming fear didn’t slow me one bit.

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Every Friday,100s of bloggers set a timer, write for 5 minutes, and then post the results over at Kate Motaung’s blog, Heading Home. She provides the prompt on Thursday evening. We don’t edit or concern ourselves with whether our writing is flawless or worthy to be seen. We expose our incomplete, unpolished thoughts and words to each other and our readers and tweet them with the hashtag #FMFParty. Join us.

Comments

  1. I am your FMF neighbor this week! So glad I am too! Sometimes I fear disappointing and letting down those I love more than anything else. Thank you for sharing this week!

  2. So glad you found the dogs. Even more thankful to hear that you’ve found the One that paralyzes fear, instead of it paralyzing you! God bless!

    1. Actually, He found me when I was a mere tot. But even with God, life can shred us apart; being an orphan, and at the mercy of those who are heartless, has a lasting affect. Fortunately, Christ left us His Church so that orphans might have family be made whole. We are only whole in the context of love – Divine love and human love. We need both. Being with friends who are like family and living in a community that is filled with loving Christians and loving non-Christians too (even the Muslim family helped us look for the dogs) is healing.

      Thanks for visiting. And thanks for helping me express what “Loved As If” is all about: being wounded, the search for healing, being given healing (and what healing looks like) when I never expected to be more healed this side of heaven.

  3. I can totally relate to what you are saying with that fear. How neat that you were quick on your toes to find the pups and didn’t let fear get the best of you! I bet afterwards, it was a huge sigh of relief!

Tell me what you think. Thanks.

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