Follow – Five Minute Friday

I’ve wanted to make “Loved As If” my magnum opus and answer all those who are amazed that I follow Christ even though my life has often been “solitary, poore, nasty, [and] brutish.”

Among other things, I’m a student of literature and especially of the stories we call myth and legend. Originally, they were simply the stories one generation handed down to another. Until fairly recently, humans weren’t interested in empirical proof of the facts. We wanted to pass on truth. Aesop and Gilgamesh pass on immense truths that have been part of what it means to be human since the beginning.

“The Epic of Gilgamesh” is one of my all time favourite pieces of literature. It’s also one of the oldest known to man. I’ve always been struck by Gilgamesh’s lament when he first realizes he will die. He prays to the god Shamash because he sees the bodies floating in the river; and realizes this too will be his lot. All that is left is to make a great name for himself. He and his dear friend, Enkidu, undergo many trials and adventures and win great renown. Then Enkidu dies and Gilgamesh loses himself. Death can do that to us.

jesus-and-child-10When I lost my parents, I lost myself. I did not know who I was or to whom I belonged. Knowing that I didn’t belong to the minister, that I gained no identity from him gave me a bit of information about who I was not but none about who I was. That knowledge came from my Friend, from Christ. He condescended to follow me and lead me through the horrifying labyrinth of my childhood. But eventually, I had to choose if I would follow Him. It made me cranky that I had to choose. Then I understood, Christ could not be a beloved magical teddy bear to comfort me, perform miracles when needed, and provide wisdom. He had to be my God as well as my Friend. I had to be willing to follow Him even if my life never became the image I had conjured in my mind and contained more heartache and pain.

He has always been so gracious to me. He has always been there. And I want to follow because of His graciousness and generosity but also because in Him, I know who I am; Christ gives me identity. It doesn’t matter if the identity I have now is the one I would have had my life had been different. This is me. It is the Lord’s doing and it is astoundingly marvelous in my eyes.


Every Friday,100s of bloggers set a timer, write for 5 minutes, and then post the results. We don’t edit or concern ourselves with whether our writing is flawless or worthy to be seen. We expose our incomplete, unpolished thoughts and words to each other and our readers. Kate Motaung at  Heading Home provides the prompt on Thursday evening. We all link our posts there and tweet them with the hashtag #FMFParty. Join us.


  1. nice to meet you drusilla:) i’m your neighbor on FMF. very interesting quote: ” I did not know who I was or to whom I belonged.” i never tho’t of the loss of your parents having that effect…but it makes sense:( how sad.

    1. Young children, in particular, gain identity through their parents. They know who they are because they know to whim they belong.

      Thanks so much for stopping by. Please come again.

  2. Beautiful post, Drusilla. It was a blessing to me when I learned my identity in Him. My parents are still on earth, but growing up they were not available. I understand where you are coming from as far as belonging. Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. “Christ could not be a beloved magical teddy bear there to comfort, perform miracles when needed, and provide wisdom. He had to be my God as well as my Friend.”

    I really loved this line. It reminds me of how parents say they can’t be a friend to their children. Yet, I have a close friend who’s teenagers never really went through the rebellion stage like that of other teenagers. I asked her why they never struggled as much as others. She said that she talked to them with an open heart. She and her husband shared their own real life experiences and did talk to them like they were their friends. They were close enough that their teenagers could come right up to them and would tell her anything. The communication lines were always kept open. They still set boundaries but explained those boundaries to them so they could understand.

    Like Christ, he has to be God but He’s a friend too. He speaks to us through the Bible about the ways we should live. Yet, He’s still a friend to us when we fail.

    And yes, the identity of who you are now is truly who God wanted you to be! Beautiful post, Drusilla!

  4. I lead a very blessed existence yet see the wonderfully guiding hand of Christ and the Father leading me or humankind in general through some seriously dire circumstances and find it very comforting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Tell me what you think. Thanks.

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