Five Minute Friday: Release

Beloved,

You’ve changed me. Really, really changed me.

You know things are tight right now. I’m beginning to feel desperate. I’ve felt that way in the past. Last night, I was tempted to hurt myself. An old memory of hitting myself with a hard, leather belt, the way the man used to hit me, came into my mind. I’ve done it in the past. I’ve been tempted and cried to You for help only to find myself hurting myself in rage and desperation. But last night, I cried out to You for help. I said, “No! I don’t want this. I don’t need it anymore.” I prayed and the temptation left.

How long was I in bondage to obsessive actions? To replaying what was done to me because that’s what I deserved? Because there was no hope for anything more? How often did I tell myself, “Hang on. God have more in store for you?” Last night, I didn’t need to convince myself. All I needed was to cry out to You, to pray, to reject self-destructiveness. You have set me free. You have released me.

Oh, my Lord, I’m free. I’m free.

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Every Friday,100s of bloggers set a timer and write for 5 minutes and then publish the results. We don’t edit or engulf ourselves in concerns about whether our writing is worthy to be seen. We expose our incomplete, unpolished words to each other and our readers. Lisa Jo Baker provides a prompt on her blog and we all link our posts there and tweet them with the hashtag #FMFParty. Join us.

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